Wednesday, April 2, 2008

quick report on my Tantra vacation

I have been away traveling on an assignment that my chief editor told me has long been postponed. She sent me into the proverbial briar's patch. The destination: Sapphic Yoga Academy of Tibet. I quickly forgot my other assignments that I covered (CIA, Chopin and the L word, and the review of lesbian and other MILFs)

Bodhichitta Atti is a Sapphic form of Yoga (I refer to it as the "yum-yum" teaching) that has a respectable precedent amongst a particular lineage of medieval Tibetan Yoginis.

I have witnessed exciting, mouthwatering, eye-candy rituals. Apparently, the spectacle I provided has induced suitable awe in the "students" and the girl who received the symbolic punishment is telling all who will listen that she was transported to the very heights of ecstasy and can't wait to experience the inevitable delights of my lingam in its more proper accommodation. I trust she will not be disappointed when the time comes. I have been taking lessons in Tantra from a travelling guru. The man is remarkable in the things he teach to do with your yoni and he assures me that he can teach me to climax many times. All his talk of "chakras" and spirituality seems to me to be so much hokum but the program of exercises he has given me seem to make perfect sense. I doubt I will ever be able to perform his trick of emptying a glass of water and ingesting the contents with my yoni, but I can't think of any sort of party where such a stunt is likely to be well received by the hostess.

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